i toss and turn till the wee hours. i actually knew how it felt not to be able to sleep. your eyes just wander around in the dark room. amazingly, i wake up feeling refreshed and no 'monday blues'.

he dropped me way early and i decided to get breakfast this morning. as i was crossing the traffic, Cliff snapped his fingers right under my nose and i got a shock. i figured my face paint a thousand words. i was indeed full of thoughts lately. then, it was last friday. i was walking along Orchard road to get a cab. i just kept walking, walking and walking and when i realised my heels are killing me, i was already somewhere in Holland. i guess i have walked more than 30 mins. by the time i get home, my calf were aching so badly. i still cant get over the fact that i walked to Holland with my heels.

got my HT pictures from han. i browsed through it twice and tuck them in my drawer. and tada.. ben was right there online. okay lah brother, yours look so much better can! and man.. i cant believe he has some tiny weeny fans. laughs* its rather chaotic that day as well. he went to clear the bills at K-box and i was alone in Suntec and i felt sick suddenly. when i get down the car, my whole world seems to be spinning. i thought i would just collasped nowhere for a moment. for a good ten mins, i was looking for a bathroom and i... puked. because of my ego and tak glam-ness, i decided to puke 'silently'. hahahaha. i cant remember when's the last time i threw up and i was actually so sad because i was alone in a mall. he came down only twenty mins later and got me a drink. the incident was just plain awful~

for once, i wished that i had someone i trust to talk to. one who share my dreams and passion with. tell me that i wouldnt be making a wrong choice and stand by me. two years of sacrifices. i wonder what will happen two years down the road. they tell me its worthwhile. i would be flying just like i always wanted. is it just my dream?